We need resources, we are not trained for this.

This is kinship and it’s really hard.

We have navigated first time driving, first dates and your first job. As I look to the future the list of firsts seems endless.

I wish I knew what the future holds for our child, and our family, but what I do know is that openness does develop beyond placement, and much like other personal relationships it takes time, commitment, and a whole lot of personal growth.

Kids and teens deserve enough time to build these new and complex attachments. 35 weeks is simply not enough time for a youth like me to feel comfortable with an entirely different family, let alone build trust with these unknown parental figures.

There are certainly a lot of complexities in adoption which can and probably should be considered, but ultimately doesn’t every child deserve the same care and opportunity to form attachments in their first year?

My chosen family makes me feel loved and wanted and for me, that’s all I ask for.

What are some things you ask for from your chosen family?

For FASD awareness month, I wanted to take a moment to share my story, one that many people don’t hear about.

What legends are you making for your children?

As we continue to work and partner towards both a provincial and national Canadian effort that brings increased awareness and understanding of this issue, including the help that families and children need in order to heal from these traumas, it’s important that we (parents, professionals, advocates, first-voice experts) all work together to evolve the language and terms that we’re using.

Think about the trauma that this meeting could have or may have caused my oldest child. Was it necessary? Could it have been done differently?

“You’re at risk for Compassion Fatigue.”… It supressed my full capacity to love and show empathy. Hope of restoring my vibrant inner being faded.

All anyone ever wants is to know they are loved and supported. You would be surprised how far one can go just by knowing they have someone in their corner. In my case, that “someone” would be my whole family.

We continue to believe deeply that the requirement and urgency to act in addressing anti-black racism rests with all of us… and that our collective actions must extend far beyond Black History Month.

Before his last offence, he was still asking us if we would take him back when he gets out of the centre. What do you say to your child, who you have always wanted and supported even when he became so unpredictable?

CW… Some may say that is a bit too graphic or an unnecessary detail… but I’m here to share my story.

Divorce is far from an ideal situation, but as the saying goes: “When Mom is well, the kids are well.”

It’s taboo to say it, naming it makes us feel guilty, but this placement changed our lives for the better. It also saved my life.

Consider a dictionary definition of the word holiday: “a day of festivity or recreation when no work is done”. Wow. I am fairly certain that if I go with this definition, I have not had a holiday since 2001 (the last year that I was child free).

Putting up tinsel and garland, pulling out the Christmas scented soaps, plugging in colourful lights, hanging the word JOY over her bed. She LOVES Christmas. I… do not.

When entering this new world, this new home, you are never navigating your demons alone.