Frustration and Silence
Five months later (post ARE), Ashley and Joe are resigned to the fact that they are not being considered for any of the sibling groups. They never received any response.
Ashley and Joe decided to start trying to have a family right after their wedding in 2012. A year after that they sought out specialists, and 6 months after that they were given the news that without medical intervention such as IVF, they would remain childless.
For several months they discussed the different routes to take. Public Adoption seemed to make the most sense for their family. In June 2014, they made the call that started them on their journey of becoming a potential adoptive family.
The first part of the process seemed like a breeze; Fill out some forms, attend the P.R.I.D.E. classes and preparing their home and minds to welcome a child or children into their lives. Other than being a little repetitive and dry at times, they found the classes and readings very informative and helpful to understand the different aspects of Adoption.
The first meeting with the Homestudy Worker went okay. They made it clear to their worker that they wanted to be Adopt Ready by May in order to go to the next A.R.E. (Adoption Resource Exchange – a twice annual, provincial, event to view profiles of awaiting children). She assured them that they would be well ahead of that timeline since it was only November.
The second meeting got cancelled and re-scheduled several times due to the social worker’s “personal reasons” and didn’t actually take place until mid-January. The social worker then showed up unorganized, asked many of the same questions, and left them feeling like she didn’t even take the time to really know who they were as individuals and as a couple. It was extremely frustrating for them, especially since they had taken the time to prepare before the meetings.
After the second meeting, they wouldn’t see their worker again until March. Trying countless times to email and contact via phone they were left in the dark wondering what was going on. Anxious feelings became more common as the A.R.E. deadline fast approached. Due to diligence on their part, they finally became approved April 30th, 2 days before the scheduled conference. They both feel that if they hadn’t made the effort to nudge along their worker, they would assuredly not be approved in time.
The A.R.E. was overwhelming for them but they left having put in Interest forms for 3 different sibling groups. Upon speaking with the social workers they asked time and time again if they would hear back, regardless of whether they were being considered or not. Being reassured that they would indeed be contacted, they left with feelings of hope.
Five months later, Ashley and Joe are resigned to the fact that they are not being considered for any of the sibling groups. They never received any response.
Although Ashley and Joe are still waiting for the right match, they are aware that many couples have had to wait and been through a tougher process than the one they have been through. That being said, there are many aspects of the adoption system that could be revised in order to connect children with a permanent family in a timelier manner. For now, they hope that the coming months will bring them closer to their dream of having a family.